How important is it to write about a disagreement for college essays?

Writing about a disagreement for your college essay is just one possible approach—not a requirement. The main reason people suggest this topic is that disagreements often bring out qualities like resilience, empathy, problem-solving, and self-awareness, all of which admissions officers value. However, there are many other ways to showcase these qualities and write a compelling essay.

You're definitely not at a disadvantage if your experiences center around personal growth or overcoming a challenge instead of a traditional argument or dispute. In fact, forcing a disagreement topic when it doesn't fit you can come off as inauthentic. Colleges are interested in seeing who you are, how you think, and how you've navigated meaningful moments in your life.

For example, if your growth came from adapting to a new environment or pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone, those stories can be just as powerful—sometimes even more so—if you focus on specific moments and what you learned. One student wrote about befriending someone very different from herself and how that expanded her worldview—there was no major argument, just subtle changes in perspective and understanding. Another focused on overcoming self-doubt during a school theater performance, which revealed resilience and creativity.

If you're aiming for your essay to stand out, make sure you focus on details that are unique to your own journey. Rather than writing in generalities, zero in on a moment or series of moments that truly shaped you, whether or not conflict was at the center. Admissions readers respond to honesty, depth, and reflective thinking more than any specific type of story.

So, don't worry if your story isn't about a classic disagreement. As long as it authentically shows personal growth, insight, or how you approach problems, you'll be in great shape.