Can I write my college essay about accidentally shooting my brother?

First, I want to acknowledge that sharing such a personal story takes courage, and it’s totally understandable to be nervous about how an admissions officer might react. It’s not at all uncommon for applicants to consider writing about traumatic, controversial, or even taboo moments in their lives, and done thoughtfully, these essays can be deeply impactful. Colleges genuinely value honesty and maturity, especially when students reflect on moments that fundamentally changed them.

That said, writing about an incident involving an accidental shooting is high-risk. Admissions officers need to feel confident in your judgment, empathy, and self-awareness. If you decide to pursue this topic, the focus should be less on the details of the accident, and much more on your response: what you learned about responsibility, safety, and the fragility of relationships. You want to avoid sensationalizing the event or making it seem like an attempt to shock or gain sympathy—it's better if it reads as honest, nuanced reflection.

For example, instead of describing how the accident happened in detail, you might open with the moment you realized your brother would recover, capturing the emotional relief. Then, you can explore the aftermath: how your relationship changed, any guilt or fear you felt, and—importantly—what concrete actions you took to repair trust, ensure safety, and grow as a person. Did you talk openly with your family? Start volunteering for a youth safety program? Become a mentor for younger students? Showing growth and steps you took to make amends can be powerful.

One applicant, for instance, once wrote about a car accident he caused. He focused almost entirely on the emotional responsibility, vulnerability, and the efforts he made to regain trust and grow from the experience, rather than the accident itself. It struck the right balance between honesty and responsibility.

Ultimately, admissions officers are looking for growth, reflection, and maturity. If you’re not sure you can strike that tone (or if the event still feels too raw), it’s okay to pick a different topic. But if you feel you can tackle it thoughtfully—focusing on what you did after, how you’ve changed, and how it matured you—your story could stand out in a genuine and compelling way. Whatever you decide, make sure to let a trusted adult or advisor read a draft to help you gauge tone and clarity. That extra pair of eyes is especially valuable with high-stakes stories like this.