Is it a good idea to write my college essay about trauma I've experienced?

Choosing to write about trauma for your Common App essay is a deeply personal choice, and it's something admissions officers do encounter fairly often. What matters most is not whether you write about trauma, but how you write about it. If losing your family member truly shaped your identity and outlook, it's valid and potentially meaningful material, but the essay should be about you, not just the event itself.

The most effective essays rooted in trauma tend to focus on growth, change, and resilience rather than the traumatic event alone. You'll want to show the reader how you processed your loss, what specific perspective or values came from it, and how those shape the way you interact with the world now. In other words, instead of simply recounting what happened, highlight concrete ways you've become a different person or taken action in response. For example, a student who lost a grandparent might write about how they took on new family responsibilities or started volunteering at a hospice, and how these actions led to greater empathy, leadership, or a new purpose.

Avoid framing yourself solely as a victim, or making your essay only about seeking sympathy. Admission officers don't want to feel manipulated, and they are more interested in seeing your reflection, maturity, and growth. Try to stay away from excessive graphic detail, and remember you don't have to lay out every raw emotion to make your point; sometimes, a measured tone has even more impact.

Many students who write authentically about trauma feel good afterward, especially if it's a story they've processed and can now reflect on with insight. If you’re still feeling very raw, consider whether it’s the right moment, or whether another topic would allow you to shine more confidently.

Ultimately, colleges want to admit people, not essays. If your story allows them to see who you are today—and why that person will contribute to their campus—it’s a strong choice. If you do this thoughtfully and with an eye towards your growth, it can make for a compelling essay. If you have any doubts, you might try drafting both this topic and an alternative, and see which one helps you present your most authentic and forward-looking self.