How can I effectively write a college essay about feeling 'sonder'?

Question

I’ve recently come across the word 'sonder' and it really resonated with how I see the world. Basically, it means realizing that everyone around you has their own complex life, just as detailed and unique as yours. I’m thinking about making this the main theme for my Common App essay, but I’m a little worried it might come across as too abstract or philosophical.

For context, I’ve always been someone who notices little moments about people and wonders what their stories might be. It’s something that shapes the way I experience daily life and interact with others. Has anyone here tried to write about a similar feeling? Or do you have advice on how to keep the essay personal and focused, instead of just going off into a rant about an idea?

I’d really like my essay to stand out, but I also want admissions officers to connect with it and understand how this perspective influences my actions. Any tips on making something like 'sonder' into a story that feels authentic and memorable would be awesome.

Accepted Answer

Writing about 'sonder' can be a compelling lens for your essay, especially since it genuinely resonates with you. To keep the essay authentic and impactful, focus on illustrating how this mindset shows up in your life rather than explaining the concept in the abstract. It's all about showing, not just telling.

Start by grounding your essay in a specific, personal moment where you experienced 'sonder' powerfully. For example, you could describe a time on public transit when you noticed a stranger who seemed upset. Instead of moving on, maybe you started imagining their day, and that motivated you to act with more empathy at school or to reach out to someone who seemed isolated.

Highlight how experiencing 'sonder' has led to concrete actions or changes in your behavior. Maybe you became the kind of friend who always checks in with people after noticing subtle signs, or you started a club that helps new students feel welcome because you can't help but wonder what their lives are like. The best essays root a big idea in one or two vivid stories that admissions officers can picture. The more specific, the better.

Remember, an essay about perspective can risk sounding detached if it doesn't connect clearly to what you DO. You want admissions officers to walk away knowing exactly what kind of community member and peer you'll be. If you can tie the 'sonder' theme to the values you live by—like compassion, curiosity, or initiative—it will feel more grounded.

For example, consider a paragraph that begins with a scene: “Standing in the school cafeteria, I watched a new student sit alone, reminded me of countless lives I’d wondered about. Would anyone reach out? I did, and it became the start of a friendship—and a habit of paying attention to the quiet stories around me.”

Give your essay an anchor moment, then show how the philosophy of ‘sonder’ reverberates throughout your choices and projects. End with a look ahead—how will this worldview shape your time in college? That turns a potentially abstract essay into a clear, memorable portrait of who you are.

How can I effectively write a college essay about feeling 'sonder'?

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