What are some strong introduction examples for college essays?
I'm starting to brainstorm and write my college essay, but I'm getting stuck on the introduction part. I know the opening is supposed to grab the reader's attention, but I keep second guessing myself and deleting everything I write.
If anyone has examples of intros that actually worked, or something that made the adcom want to keep reading, could you share? It would be really helpful to see what has worked for others. Looking for samples or even just descriptions of what made your intro effective.
I want to stand out but not be too over the top, and it's hard trying to find that balance. Any suggestions would be super useful right now.
If anyone has examples of intros that actually worked, or something that made the adcom want to keep reading, could you share? It would be really helpful to see what has worked for others. Looking for samples or even just descriptions of what made your intro effective.
I want to stand out but not be too over the top, and it's hard trying to find that balance. Any suggestions would be super useful right now.
4 months ago
•
25 views
Camille Luong
• 4 months ago
Advisor
A strong college essay introduction often drops the reader straight into a moment, idea, or image that raises questions and makes them curious to keep reading. You don’t have to start with an epic anecdote, but opening with a vivid detail, an intriguing statement, or a unique voice can make a huge difference. Here are some examples and strategies:
1. Use a vivid, sensory detail that sets a scene:
Example:
"The chalk squeaked against the blackboard, a sound my classmates always groaned at—but to me, it was a call to action. I raised my hand, not to answer, but to volunteer for yet another equation."
Why it works: The reader is right there in the classroom, curious about this person’s relationship with both math and their classmates.
2. Start with a surprising or bold statement:
Example:
"Every Thursday, I become invisible."
Why it works: It’s intriguing—we instantly want to know what the writer means and what happens on Thursdays.
3. Begin in the middle of an action—a mini "in media res":
Example:
"My hands shook as I pressed 'submit.' All those months of research condensed into a single click."
Why it works: The reader is dropped into a high-stakes moment and wants to know what’s at stake and why this moment matters.
4. Pose an unexpected question:
Example:
"How many potatoes does it take to fuel an engine? More than you’d think—something I learned at 14 in my garage."
Why it works: The question is quirky and specific, offering something surprising about the applicant right away.
5. Use a quote—if it’s personal, not cliché:
Example:
"‘Pull the weeds, not the roses,’ my grandmother would say as we knelt in her garden. Years later, I find myself applying her words in more ways than I expected."
Why it works: The quote is meaningful to the writer and immediately introduces a personal connection.
Try to hook the reader with something true to you. Sometimes, it helps to write the body of your essay first, then circle back and pull out a striking moment or image to use as your intro.
Personal note: I wrote my intro about the sound of a violin string breaking during an audition—then zoomed out to how I handled the aftermath and how it shaped my mindset. It started with a split-second detail and then opened up into my story.
If something feels forced or "over the top" to you, it might read that way to others too. Trust your instincts—your opening doesn’t need to shout, but it does need to feel authentic. Focus on a real moment or feeling that’s specific to you, and it’ll stand out because no one else can tell your story quite like you do.
1. Use a vivid, sensory detail that sets a scene:
Example:
"The chalk squeaked against the blackboard, a sound my classmates always groaned at—but to me, it was a call to action. I raised my hand, not to answer, but to volunteer for yet another equation."
Why it works: The reader is right there in the classroom, curious about this person’s relationship with both math and their classmates.
2. Start with a surprising or bold statement:
Example:
"Every Thursday, I become invisible."
Why it works: It’s intriguing—we instantly want to know what the writer means and what happens on Thursdays.
3. Begin in the middle of an action—a mini "in media res":
Example:
"My hands shook as I pressed 'submit.' All those months of research condensed into a single click."
Why it works: The reader is dropped into a high-stakes moment and wants to know what’s at stake and why this moment matters.
4. Pose an unexpected question:
Example:
"How many potatoes does it take to fuel an engine? More than you’d think—something I learned at 14 in my garage."
Why it works: The question is quirky and specific, offering something surprising about the applicant right away.
5. Use a quote—if it’s personal, not cliché:
Example:
"‘Pull the weeds, not the roses,’ my grandmother would say as we knelt in her garden. Years later, I find myself applying her words in more ways than I expected."
Why it works: The quote is meaningful to the writer and immediately introduces a personal connection.
Try to hook the reader with something true to you. Sometimes, it helps to write the body of your essay first, then circle back and pull out a striking moment or image to use as your intro.
Personal note: I wrote my intro about the sound of a violin string breaking during an audition—then zoomed out to how I handled the aftermath and how it shaped my mindset. It started with a split-second detail and then opened up into my story.
If something feels forced or "over the top" to you, it might read that way to others too. Trust your instincts—your opening doesn’t need to shout, but it does need to feel authentic. Focus on a real moment or feeling that’s specific to you, and it’ll stand out because no one else can tell your story quite like you do.
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Camille Luong
Nomadic
Stanford University, BAH in Urban Studies
Experience
5 years
Rating
5.0 (5 reviews)