Can anyone share an example of an early college essay that worked?

Starting early is a huge advantage, even if your draft feels messy or unpolished at first. Early drafts don’t have to be perfect—they just need to get your ideas out so you have something real to work with later. Many essays that work well start as loose, honest stories or even scattered reflections, and only become focused after a few rounds of revision.

Here’s an example of an early draft format that ended up working for a student who got into multiple selective schools. The student wrote about working at their father’s auto repair shop every summer, initially focusing on funny mishaps and odd customers: “I spent most mornings running diagnostics on engines bigger than me—my hands slick with oil, earbuds stuffed with classic rock. My favorite regular, Mr. Lee, once taught me how to recognize engine trouble by the rhythm of the knocks. At first, I was just fetching parts and botching oil changes. Then, after one disastrous morning when I stripped a bolt and my dad lost his patience, he finally let me try diagnosing a stubborn Civic myself.”

In early drafts, this student didn’t try to tie every story to some grand lesson. Instead, they wrote about specific memories—like the first time they got an engine started solo, and the moment they accidentally spilled coolant everywhere but then figured out how to fix their mistake. Later revisions tightened the essay’s focus: the essay became more about how learning to troubleshoot cars mirrored the way the student learned to troubleshoot life’s problems and gained confidence.

As for how personal or deep you must get—it’s totally normal for early drafts to not have an obvious thesis or lesson. You can start off telling a vivid story, or even just describing a single moment that sticks with you, and only add reflection in later drafts. Honesty and detail are way more compelling in first drafts than forced moral lessons.

My suggestion is to pick a moment, memory, or interest that really matters to you, write about it openly and descriptively, and don’t worry if it meanders at first. Then, in revisions, look for patterns, insights, or growth to weave through. Sometimes, your best insight only reveals itself after you’ve written freely for a while. Remember: tension, small conflicts, or unique situations (big or small) are often more memorable than trying to summarize your entire life story.

If you find yourself stuck, set aside time to simply write about a single afternoon, event, or feeling that changed, challenged, or shaped you—even if you aren’t sure why yet. Later, you’ll have plenty of chances to tighten and deepen. Your voice and authentic story matter more than starting out with a perfect structure.