Can someone review my college essay and give feedback?

It’s completely normal to feel stuck after reading your own work so many times—the words start to blend together and it’s hard to know what’s working and what isn’t. Writing about moving to a new country can be a powerful topic, but you’re right to be aware that it’s a common theme. What often makes these essays stand out is the level of specificity and self-reflection you bring to your story.

Since you focused on specific moments, that’s a strong start. If you want your essay to deeply resonate, make sure you zoom in on one or two key moments that highlight something unusual, challenging, or very personal—something only you could have experienced. For instance, instead of telling the entire arc of your move, try focusing on a single event, like the first time you misunderstood a cultural custom at school or a pivotal conversation with a new friend.

Consider including vivid details—maybe you describe how your lunch looked totally different from everyone else’s, the sound of unfamiliar words in the cafeteria, or a particular instance of kindness or misunderstanding that stuck with you. The more you pull the reader into a single scene, the more memorable your essay becomes. Then, connect this story to how it changed your actions, beliefs, or aspirations moving forward. For example, did the experience inspire you to become a peer mentor for new students, start a club, or learn more about cultural psychology?

If possible, ask someone who doesn’t know your story well to read your essay and tell you what they learn about you—do they get a clear sense of your personality and growth, or does it feel generic? Sometimes feedback from a fresh set of eyes is the most valuable.

Overall, you’re on the right track by worrying more about being authentic than trying to impress. If you’d like, feel free to post a short excerpt here, or describe one of your key moments, and I can offer more specific suggestions for making that part pop!