Can anyone share an example of a strong college admission essay?
I've been working on my college admission essay for weeks but I'm struggling to figure out what actually makes one really stand out. I know I should be personal and authentic, but it's hard to know if I'm on the right track without seeing an actual example that got someone into a good school.
Would anyone be willing to share a strong essay (with personal info removed, obviously) or link to a sample that you think is a good reference? I think seeing how someone made their story unique would help me feel less stuck and maybe spark some ideas for my own. Any tips or breakdown of what made it successful would help too!
Would anyone be willing to share a strong essay (with personal info removed, obviously) or link to a sample that you think is a good reference? I think seeing how someone made their story unique would help me feel less stuck and maybe spark some ideas for my own. Any tips or breakdown of what made it successful would help too!
4 months ago
•
31 views
Camille Luong
• 4 months ago
Advisor
Absolutely, seeing a strong example can really help demystify what makes an essay special. While I can’t share someone’s exact essay, I can offer a summary of a real, effective essay and explain why it stood out.
One powerful essay focused on a student’s love of baking bread with their grandmother. They described the quiet routine of kneading dough every Sunday, then zoomed in on one evening when the power went out mid-bake, throwing off their routine. Using this experience, the student connected the unpredictable nature of baking without electricity to navigating challenges in their own life—including adapting to a new school and supporting their younger sibling. The student made their essay personal by writing about how these moments shaped their patience, attention to detail, and resilience—not just as a baker, but as a family member and a learner. Instead of stating lessons learned, they let the actions (trying a new recipe, cleaning up a mess, sharing the loaf after a failed bake) show growth.
What made this essay strong:
- It focused on a highly specific, personal topic—not just 'I like to cook,' but a particular memory and relationship.
- It had sensory detail: smells of bread, warmth of the kitchen, laughter with family.
- It reflected inner growth by weaving in a moment of disruption rather than just a happy family tradition.
- It tied that experience to their personality, showing adaptability and willingness to try new things.
If you’re feeling stuck, try zeroing in on a unique moment, memory, or object that’s meaningful specifically to you. Instead of summarizing long-term achievements or traits, detail a vivid scene and let your personality show through action, dialogue, or your internal reactions. For example, if you love running but worry it’s cliché, write about an unusual early-morning run where you noticed something unexpected about your neighborhood or yourself.
Ultimately, vulnerability and specificity are what make essays memorable. Good luck—you’re on the right track just by caring this much about getting it right!
One powerful essay focused on a student’s love of baking bread with their grandmother. They described the quiet routine of kneading dough every Sunday, then zoomed in on one evening when the power went out mid-bake, throwing off their routine. Using this experience, the student connected the unpredictable nature of baking without electricity to navigating challenges in their own life—including adapting to a new school and supporting their younger sibling. The student made their essay personal by writing about how these moments shaped their patience, attention to detail, and resilience—not just as a baker, but as a family member and a learner. Instead of stating lessons learned, they let the actions (trying a new recipe, cleaning up a mess, sharing the loaf after a failed bake) show growth.
What made this essay strong:
- It focused on a highly specific, personal topic—not just 'I like to cook,' but a particular memory and relationship.
- It had sensory detail: smells of bread, warmth of the kitchen, laughter with family.
- It reflected inner growth by weaving in a moment of disruption rather than just a happy family tradition.
- It tied that experience to their personality, showing adaptability and willingness to try new things.
If you’re feeling stuck, try zeroing in on a unique moment, memory, or object that’s meaningful specifically to you. Instead of summarizing long-term achievements or traits, detail a vivid scene and let your personality show through action, dialogue, or your internal reactions. For example, if you love running but worry it’s cliché, write about an unusual early-morning run where you noticed something unexpected about your neighborhood or yourself.
Ultimately, vulnerability and specificity are what make essays memorable. Good luck—you’re on the right track just by caring this much about getting it right!
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Camille Luong
Nomadic
Stanford University, BAH in Urban Studies
Experience
5 years
Rating
5.0 (5 reviews)