What are some effective ways to 'show, don't tell' in a college essay?

To bring your qualities to life in a college essay, 'show, don't tell' means letting readers see your traits in action rather than just naming them. Rather than saying, "I'm determined," set up a scene or share a moment where your determination was clear from your behavior, actions, or even your thought process.

For example, instead of writing, "I am determined and work hard to succeed in my goals," you might describe a moment like this:

"My alarm went off at 4:30 a.m., and as my neighborhood still slumbered, I sat on the cold tile floor tying my running shoes. Rain battered the windows, but skipping my pre-dawn practice before the science fair seemed out of the question. I triple-checked my experiment's setup, then grabbed an umbrella and headed out."

In that passage, your early rising, braving lousy weather, and balancing two commitments all paint a vivid picture of determination and discipline—without ever using those words. You invite the reader to witness your quality through specifics.

Here are a few quick tips:

1. Use concrete details. Describe what you did, saw, heard, felt. Instead of saying "I was nervous," describe tapping your foot under a desk, wiping sweaty palms, or rehearsing your opening lines in your head.

2. Pick scenes that reveal a change, a challenge, or a decision. Focus in on a short, specific episode, much like a snapshot. It’s better for your essay to zoom in on one five-minute exchange than to summarize months of effort.

3. Show your inner world through dialogue, thoughts, or tiny actions. If you want to show resourcefulness, let the reader hear you puzzling through how to fix a malfunctioning robot during a competition, maybe including lines of internal dialogue or quick exchanges with teammates.

4. Trust your reader. You don’t need to state the lesson at the end of every anecdote. Your story can carry the meaning on its own—sometimes a brief, reflective sentence is enough.

When you revise, look for places where you’ve used adjectives to describe yourself. Ask if you can replace them with a short scene, a quote, or an action. For further reading, check out sample essays from colleges or writing guides for students. They often include examples of strong essays where the "show, don’t tell" principle works well.

The more you can immerse the reader in your experience, the more your essay will stand out. Good luck—you’re on the right track asking these questions!