Can anyone share a strong example of a college admission essay?

I'm starting to work on my college application essays and I'm a little nervous about whether I'm moving in the right direction. It would really help to see what a successful essay looks like, especially one that feels unique but also genuine.

I want to get a better sense of the tone, structure, and kind of content that's impressive to colleges. I’ve read some advice blogs, but I feel like seeing a real example from another student could give me some better inspiration and clarity.

If anyone's willing to share or link to an example of an essay that got them into their dream school, or even just an essay that they're proud of, I'd appreciate it. Any tips on how to stand out without being overly dramatic or trying too hard would also be awesome!
4 months ago
 • 
25 views
Camille Luong
 • 4 months ago
Advisor
Here's an example of a strong college admission essay that stood out for its unique perspective and honesty. Keep in mind, essays resonate most when they reflect your authentic self, quirks and all. This sample is structured like a personal anecdote, followed by reflection:

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On the morning of my fourteenth birthday, I found a pigeon sitting in our kitchen. My dad, unfazed, sipped his coffee. My mom, mid-scream, reached for a broom. Curiosity trumped chaos: I crouched to study the bird, marveling at the shimmer of its feathers and quirk in its blinking eye. While my parents argued about who had left the window open, I noticed the pigeon’s injured foot.

That pigeon lived in our laundry room for a week. Through trial and error (never let a pigeon bathe unsupervised), I learned both basic avian medicine and that being a caretaker means more than simply providing food. Between cleaning feathers and coaxing the bird to eat, I understood that solutions to problems—whether feathered or not—require empathy and patience. When we finally released the pigeon, I watched it waddle, then take flight, feeling an odd mixture of hope and loss.

Two years later, when my best friend stopped texting me without explanation, I remembered the pigeon. Instead of demanding answers or closing myself off, I reached out with a letter that took weeks to write. Though our friendship didn’t heal overnight, my willingness to care in small but consistent ways eventually bridged the silence between us. I now see every relationship, challenge, or opportunity as a chance to learn—sometimes with mess, always with heart.

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In this example, the writer draws readers into a specific, unusual experience. Notice how the story is anchored around a small but symbolic event, which is then connected to a broader personal growth moment. The essay avoids dramatic language, instead letting the details and honest reflection shine through. Humorous touches, vivid imagery, and clear connections to personal change help this applicant stand out without coming across as forced.

A few tips:
1. Pick a story that is uniquely yours, even if the event seems small. It’s the personal insight that matters.
2. Use specific details to make the story come alive (smells, sights, funny mishaps).
3. Conclude with a reflection—how did this experience shape you? What values did you discover?
4. Stay true to your voice. If you’re naturally sarcastic or poetic, let that come through subtly.

Remember, admissions officers want to hear your story, not a version you think they want. Even everyday experiences can be powerful if explored with honesty and curiosity.
Camille Luong
Nomadic
Stanford University, BAH in Urban Studies
Experience
5 years
Rating
5.0 (5 reviews)