Is it okay to write my college essay about losing someone close to me?
I've been brainstorming essay topics for my college apps, and the thing that comes up over and over is my experience losing my grandmother last year. She was a huge influence on my life, and her passing really shaped the way I see things now, especially when it comes to appreciating family and trying to make the most of the time I have.
I've seen advice online that says to avoid 'cliche' topics or things that might come off as too heavy. I don't want my essay to sound like every other one or make admissions officers sad, but it honestly feels like the most important story I could tell. Has anyone written about something like this and gotten good feedback? How personal is too personal? Just trying to figure out if this could work or if I should steer clear.
I've seen advice online that says to avoid 'cliche' topics or things that might come off as too heavy. I don't want my essay to sound like every other one or make admissions officers sad, but it honestly feels like the most important story I could tell. Has anyone written about something like this and gotten good feedback? How personal is too personal? Just trying to figure out if this could work or if I should steer clear.
4 months ago
•
8 views
Camille Luong
• 4 months ago
Advisor
Writing about losing a loved one can absolutely be an impactful and meaningful college essay topic, but it really depends on how you approach the story and how much of your personal growth comes through.
Grief and loss are major life events, and sharing how your grandmother influenced you shows a real part of your experience. The key is to center the essay on you: admissions officers want to learn about your personal journey, not just the person you lost. For example, rather than focusing only on her passing and your pain, show us how this experience changed the way you live, act, or make decisions. Maybe it led you to start new family traditions, inspired you to volunteer for senior citizens, or pushed you to reconnect with your heritage.
Try grounding your essay in a specific moment—a memory that changed your perspective. For instance, if there was a particular conversation you had with your grandmother, or a moment when her advice helped you face a challenge after she was gone, use that as a jumping off point. This makes the essay more unique and personal, and helps avoid the generalizations that can make loss essays feel like others.
As for "how personal is too personal," sharing your authentic emotions is encouraged, but avoid focusing only on your pain. Admissions officers can appreciate honest reflection, even if the topic is heavy, as long as you also include hope or growth. For example, you might write about a hospital visit during her final days, describing your feelings and confusion, then show how you later channeled those feelings into reaching out more to your family or trying new things she would have encouraged.
Lots of students have successfully written about loss—it’s not so much the topic, but your distinct voice and what you do with your experience. Just make sure the essay is really about you, not only your grandmother. You want the admissions team to finish reading and feel like they know who you are today, shaped but not defined by your grief.
If you can combine honesty, self-awareness, and a sense of how you're moving forward, then it's not "too personal"—it's just real. Trust your instincts and focus on what only you can say.
Grief and loss are major life events, and sharing how your grandmother influenced you shows a real part of your experience. The key is to center the essay on you: admissions officers want to learn about your personal journey, not just the person you lost. For example, rather than focusing only on her passing and your pain, show us how this experience changed the way you live, act, or make decisions. Maybe it led you to start new family traditions, inspired you to volunteer for senior citizens, or pushed you to reconnect with your heritage.
Try grounding your essay in a specific moment—a memory that changed your perspective. For instance, if there was a particular conversation you had with your grandmother, or a moment when her advice helped you face a challenge after she was gone, use that as a jumping off point. This makes the essay more unique and personal, and helps avoid the generalizations that can make loss essays feel like others.
As for "how personal is too personal," sharing your authentic emotions is encouraged, but avoid focusing only on your pain. Admissions officers can appreciate honest reflection, even if the topic is heavy, as long as you also include hope or growth. For example, you might write about a hospital visit during her final days, describing your feelings and confusion, then show how you later channeled those feelings into reaching out more to your family or trying new things she would have encouraged.
Lots of students have successfully written about loss—it’s not so much the topic, but your distinct voice and what you do with your experience. Just make sure the essay is really about you, not only your grandmother. You want the admissions team to finish reading and feel like they know who you are today, shaped but not defined by your grief.
If you can combine honesty, self-awareness, and a sense of how you're moving forward, then it's not "too personal"—it's just real. Trust your instincts and focus on what only you can say.
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Camille Luong
Nomadic
Stanford University, BAH in Urban Studies
Experience
5 years
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5.0 (5 reviews)