How should I approach writing about a disagreement for my college essay?

Writing about a disagreement can be a powerful way to show growth, maturity, and the ability to collaborate, if you handle the topic thoughtfully.

Colleges understand that conflict is a natural part of life—what they really care about is how you navigate those moments. The key is to keep the story rooted in your perspective and the insight you gained, instead of just recounting the back-and-forth of the argument.

A strong approach is to start with a brief snapshot of the moment: set the scene, share the stakes, and show your initial reactions. Don't dwell on the fight itself. A couple of sentences about how your ideas clashed is perfect, as it establishes context. Quickly shift the focus to your thought process. Did you pause and listen to your friend’s point of view? Did you realize you might be too attached to your own idea? Did you brainstorm ways to integrate both perspectives?

Highlight specific steps you took—maybe you suggested a compromise, or organized a team meeting to hear everyone out. For example, you could describe how you realized everyone was talking past each other, so you created a shared document to get ideas on paper. Or maybe you offered to test both approaches on a smaller scale.

Most importantly, reflect on what you took from the experience. Did you learn how to check your ego, communicate more openly, or value collaboration over winning an argument? Let your voice come through in those reflections. Admissions readers love stories where someone emerges more self-aware and better equipped to handle challenges.

Finally, touch on how this experience shapes you today. Maybe you’re more comfortable giving and receiving feedback, or you now try to make sure every voice is heard in group settings. Using an example of how you’ve applied this growth later on strengthens your essay and shows lasting change.

By focusing on growth and providing a clear example of how you turned a disagreement into a learning moment, you’ll demonstrate maturity and teamwork—a far cry from just seeming argumentative. If written well, this kind of essay can definitely stand out and present you as someone ready to thrive in a collaborative college environment.